Marriage in Zambia is not only a union between two individuals but a celebration of love, heritage, and community. In Zambia, a country with a diverse cultural landscape, each ethnic group brings its own unique customs and traditions to the institution of marriage, weaving a rich tapestry of rituals, ceremonies, and values. In this extensive article, we will embark on a journey to explore the vibrant and time-honored marriage traditions that have shaped Zambian society.
Pre-Marriage Rituals and Customs
Rite of passage
Before a woman or the bride rather goes into marriage, she has to go through preliminary traditional teaching by expert older women called ‘alangizi’ in one language and ‘ifimbusa’ in another. This process is a rite of passage that every soon to be wife has to go through. The ‘alangizi/ifimbusa’ are well informed and experienced older women who know and are able to teach all there is to know about marriage. Their male counterparts are called ‘bashibukombe’ and they prepare grooms for husband and father in marriage. They also represent the groom and act as the middleman between the groom and the bride’s people during premarital negotiations.
In the olden days, a marriage in Zambia used to be arranged by parents. When one feels ready for marriage, especially the man, the parents would look around the community for a befitting wife for their son. A girl who best appeals to and gains favor from the parents would be chosen as the right fit for their son and a perfect daughter in law to be. She ought to have all the good qualities and one who would not just be good for their son but one who would also portray the good of the family and represent them all well as a family. On top of possessing good qualities and appealing to them, she also ought to be from a well respected and reputable family. When such a woman is found, the son’s family reaches out to the daughter’s family and engages them regarding a possible marriage between their children.
Lobola (Bride Price)
Lobola, also known as “bride price,” is a prevalent custom in Zambian marriages. It involves the groom’s family presenting gifts or payments to the bride’s family as a symbol of respect, appreciation, and the groom’s ability to provide for his future wife. The negotiations surrounding lobola often involve both families coming together to discuss the terms and reach an agreement.
Traditional Courtship:
Traditional courtship practices vary across ethnic groups in Zambia but often involve a series of steps to demonstrate the suitor’s commitment, sincerity, and compatibility. These may include presenting gifts, seeking the blessings of the bride’s parents, and participating in community ceremonies.
Wedding Ceremonies and Traditions:
Zambia’s diverse ethnic groups celebrate weddings with unique cultural ceremonies. These ceremonies showcase traditional attire, music, dance, and rituals specific to each group. Examples include the Bemba’s “Chilanga Mulilo, and Amatebeto
Chilanga Mulilo
In a typical traditional wedding, the man pays dowry, usually in the form of money or livestock. Once dowry has been paid, the family of the bride-to-be then starts making preparations for a ceremony called Ichilanga Mulilo’ which basically means ‘showing you the fire’. Ichilanga mulilo formally welcomes the groom to be to the family of the bride, signaling to him that he can visit whenever he wants to.
This is so because prior to Chilanga Mulilo, the man was not so much at liberty to visit his woman at her parents’ house whenever he wanted. The ceremony also introduces him to the kind of food he expects from the family when he does visit and by his wife later in marriage. During this ceremony, the family of the bride prepares a different variety of foods typical to their family. The food is then served to the man, his family and friends.
Amatebeto
In some tribes like the Bemba and Lunda, north of the country , a ceremony called ‘Amatebeto’ is common. Amatebeto simply means feasting. When a couple has been married for a significant number of years, the family of the wife puts together amatebeto feast for the husband, his family and friends.
The feast or ceremony is an appreciation by the wife’s family to the husband for having maintained a relatively good and peaceful marriage with their daughter. It’s a sign of thanksgiving for a preserved, peaceful marriage and for taking good care of their daughter.
The wife’s relatives prepare a lot of food . The commonly prepared is the staple Zambian food called ‘nshima’, it is served alongside a lot of condiments/relish. Usually a lot of chicken is prepared because it is symbolic of respect and esteem. Local beer called ‘katubi’ and a drink called ‘munkoyo’ is also prepared. These are then stored in calabash containers. When all food and refreshments are prepared and ready, the women carry the food to the husband.
Back in the day (especially in the rural areas) then women would carry the food on their heads and go singing songs of jubilation as they deliver the food on foot for all to see and kind of inspire other husbands to keep a wonderful and lasting marriage. Nowadays though, often they hire vans to convey them.
Wedding Attire
Zambian wedding attire showcases the rich heritage and craftsmanship of the country. Traditional outfits feature vibrant colors, intricate beadwork, and fabric adorned with cultural symbols. The bride often wears a chitenge (a wraparound cloth) or a formal gown, while the groom may don a tailored suit or traditional attire depending on the ethnic group.
Exchange of Vows and Rings
In modern Zambian weddings, couples exchange vows and rings to symbolize their commitment and love for each other. This practice has been influenced by Western traditions, but it is now widely embraced and integrated into Zambian wedding ceremonies.
Wedding Feasts and Festivities
Traditional Cuisine:
Zambian wedding feasts are a celebration of flavors and culinary traditions. The menu often includes staple foods like nshima (maize meal), alongside various stews, grilled meats, vegetables, and traditional delicacies specific to the couple’s ethnic background.
Music, Dance, and Festive Celebrations
Weddings in Zambia are known for their lively and energetic celebrations. Traditional music, drumming, and dance performances play a significant role in setting the festive atmosphere. Guests often join in the festivities, celebrating the union with joyous dances and songs.
Post-Marriage Rituals and Traditions
Welcome Ceremony
After the wedding, the couple is welcomed into their new home by the groom’s family and community. This event symbolizes the acceptance and integration of the bride into her new family and the continuation of the ancestral lineage.
Respect
It is customary for a wife and husband to bathe together, in the same regard, the wife is expected to wash the husband’s underwear, shave his armpits and private parts. Some husbands even demand it and if the wife refuses, that is equivalent to insubordination and she could land in serious trouble for that.
Kneeling is a symbol of respect. In the old days, the wife was encouraged to always warm water for the husband to bathe. Whenever warm bathing water was served or a meal was ready, the wife was supposed to respectfully inform the husband whilst kneeling. But, like I said earlier, such practices are rapidly fading.
Children
As with most cultures around the world, children are considered a blessing from God and a source of joy for a family, it is the same with the culture of Zambian people, except other than being a blessing and source of happiness, children also signify a symbolic status. It is expected that after marriage, a couple should start having children as soon as possible. Procreation is such an important aspect in Zambian culture.
The community around a newly-wed couple has a keen interest in their fertility. When you have children, you command a certain degree of respect, you prove you are man enough and as a woman, you are saved from the humiliation that often comes with barrenness.
People from your community literally put you under surveillance. All eyes will be on you waiting for you to conceive and eventually have a child. If you take too long, say 2 to 3 years without a child, as a wife you may be summoned by elderly women who would probe you and try to find out what the problem could be and they would advise and try to help.
Children are so important that a marriage could end citing childlessness as the basis of the dissolution of marriage. The wife especially could face pressure from the husband or his relatives if she cannot get pregnant.
Matrimonial Advice and Support
The extended family and community members offer guidance and support to the newly married couple as they embark on their journey together. Elders share wisdom on various aspects of marriage, including communication, conflict resolution, and the importance of mutual respect.
Conclusion
Zambia’s marriage traditions reflect the country’s cultural diversity, deep-rooted values, and the importance of community bonds. From the intricate negotiations of lobola to the vibrant celebrations of wedding ceremonies, marriage in Zambia is a testament to the
preservation of ancestral customs and the power of love and unity. These time-honored traditions continue to shape and enrich the fabric of Zambian society, fostering a sense of belonging, heritage, and celebration.